The reading comprehension exercise was quite impressive. The mate reckoned he’d been able to identify less than half the languages used, and he was only able to read English and legalese to a high standard. The cook had fared no better.
The wolf griped and growled at their papers but then threw them back,
‘Acceptable. Luckily for you most of the materials here are in English as as long as your enquiry is suitably mundane I will be able to give you an intelligible response.’
The wolf disappeared in to the stacks of books and papers.
‘We could run for it.’ whispered the Cook. It was somewhat against the pirate code to run but the Cook had a dispensation from his physician on the grounds of craven cowardice and excellent meringues.
The mate looked at the lift behind them. It looked a clear run, but there were plenty of shelves for the wolf to be lurking behind. The mate hadn’t become a health and safety officer without learning the hiding places of dangerous animals.
‘No. He’ll pounce and I’m sure our insurance won’t cover acts of Reference Wolves.’
The Wolf returned and handed them a reference enquiry form.
‘123 pages. Please complete in block capitals and don’t smudge.’
The mate and the cook began to leaf through the form.
‘Section 1 - Contact details, Next of Kin and Funeral Arrangements, Section 2 - Nature of Enquiry, sources previously consulted, dead summoned and oracles asked. Section 3 - Copyright declarations, criminal record checks, masonic affiliations and Insurance details Section 4 - To be completed by the librarian.’
‘This is going to be tricky.’ murmured the Cook.
The mate nodded. He turned to Section 2 ‘Nature of Enquiry, please complete a short essay detailing the nature of your enquiry and any previous difficulties you have had in acquiring the information. Please remember that reference enquiries are a privilege not a right. No enquiries that can be answered by the catalogue or by consulting the bones of the dead permitted.’
‘Is necromancy a common librarian skill?’ The mate asked.
The wolf looked up and glared at him. ‘Common enough. What are card catalogues but the meanderings of the dead?’
The pirate Captain woke from a pleasant dream about mermaids with whiskers to find himself lying on the floor of an office.
The big ginger cat was looking down at him. Hands clasped round an umbrella.
‘I’m afraid you hit your head when I threw you to the floor. I doubt any damage to your brain will be noticeable.’
The pirate Captain decided it was better to pretend he’d not noticed the insult. The pirate code was all well and good, but when you’ve just been defeated by a be-suited umbrella wielding hell cat it’s as well to exercise discretion.
‘Now. If you’ve quite finished being impossible I was going to suggest that we might come to a mutually beneficial agreement.’
The pirate Captain looked at Mr Croft. He suspected that they had wildly differing ideas about the word mutual.
‘You’ll get my Mate and Cook back?’
‘If they’ve not been eaten. It’s very hard to extract people once Wolfy has had dinner.’
‘And what do I need to do?’
‘Nothing arduous. I would do it myself, but I’m a lazy fellow.’
The Captain said nothing. Lazy did not tend to produce the sort of skill which resulted on him falling on the floor at a push.
‘We have a mobile library. Due to some trifling difference of management opinion it’s gone rogue. I was hoping that you might track it down and offer an olive branch of sorts.’
‘An olive branch?’ The captain gave a wink. He knew what that meant. Pirates bearing olive branches were very much trojan horses. Except without the element of disguise. ‘I’m sure we can see to that. Were you thinking of a simple pillaging or did you want burning and kidnap too?’
Mr Croft looked aghast. ‘Of course not. I want you to deliver a letter.’
